Baps To Basics

Yesterday was the baptism to my cousin’s third child, Elizabeth. I am the Godfather. It’s funny, because I only saw her one other time in my life about two weeks ago, but now if something horrible happens to my cousin’s family this thing is going to live at my house. (I say “thing” to be funny; she’s one of the best looking babies I’ve ever seen, not to mention she seems to have a fantastic disposition.) I really haven’t mentally prepared myself to take on more responsibility for this girl – is it because we’ve just had a lot going on lately? Or is it mostly because she’s an infant? My wife has one on the way, due August 15th, that we were going to name “Elizabeth” if it’s a girl. (We don’t know the sex.) That name’s out the window. My cousin’s other child is named Patrick, which is the name we’ve selected if we have a boy. Are we that unoriginal, or is originality overrated to begin with?

The naming process seems simple, but it’s secretly tedious. You don’t really want something trendy, and in light of George Carlin’s routine about soft names (“soft name; soft person”), you don’t want something douche-y.

But we also don’t want to be negatively influenced by outside sources, especially with something we’ve liked all along. What a dilemma! After all this consideration, we want a name that’s not too extreme while staying original, so we’ve decided to go with masculine handle, “Milquetoast.”